(Please notice the date as this post was written 2 years ago. I have since met a wonderful person and am very much in love.)
Last Sunday, as they announced what the new series of sermons would be on, I quickly thought of going to visit some other churches for a few Sundays... The new series was going to be "how to stay in love (forever)".With my recent situation, I really did not want any part of hearing about being in love, falling in love, or staying in love. I had that BAD taste in my mouth about relationship love, and just really wanted to skip it.... weeeelllll God thought otherwise. He was quick to tell me while I was sitting there, that I would be coming to hear this series as He had MUCH to say to me...MUCH!!! I then decided to keep an open mind. It certainly could not hurt as everything, so far in my past relationships, has not worked- why not give HIS method a try.
So, I showed up today, eager to hear what I did not think could be diffferent than what I have seen, heard, experienced, or read about before in the last 25 years of being in love and having relationships, but, as usual, God always has something to give me/us in His own time, and it of course was meant to be today.
One thing that I really like about Lovers Lane United Methodist is they have multiple Pastors, and they give some of the Associate Pastors what I would call "pulpit time". The Youth Pastor, Grant, is Leading this Series on "Staying in Love (forever)" and he did a good job today on this first of the series.
One statistic that Grant gave today was that there are over 1500 organizations that will take your profile information to help you find a relationship with someone with a similar profile, but Grant stated that we don't want just to BE in a relationship, and we don't want to just SURVIVE through the years with someone - we want to BE IN LOVE!!
Most of us know at least one couple that have been together for 30 or maybe even 40 years, and are still in love!! Yes, those couples do exist... but HOW?
Grant stated that the following is what experts say is needed for one to have a healthy relationship: encouragement, respect, affection, support, attention. That is the short list but you get the picture. It is no wonder that there are so many that cannot have successful relationships when they never got any of these growing up in their families, or from their surrounding environment. How can you give these things if you don't possess them for yourself and have never received them from others?? We get into a realtionship and demand these things because we were deprived of them either in our youth or our past relationship, and then we blame the one we have now for what we have lacked before them.
Our culture has become low tolerance for pain in relationships...example: we think we have found the RIGHT person and we fall in love, but then when times gets hard, it is easier to say "well i don't FEEL that I love her anymore" so we just find the next person that we feel is the RIGHT person that makes us FEEL that way again.
Then Grant blew me out of my chair by saying this... "Learning to BECOME the RIGHT person is part of the process as is CHOOSING the RIGHT person".
"Love", my friends, in this context is a VERB, not a noun. In John 13:34 Jesus said "A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, you must love one another.." this "Love" that Jesus is talking about is action!! It is active!! It is not a subject or a person, place, or thing... it is MOVING, giving, sharing, helping, caring, touching, actively showing another person LOVE.
In your relationship right now, Are you loving her/him?? ARE YOU ACTIVELY LOVING? I learned today that Love is not something I am in or a state of mind... it is something I DO.
The foundation of making a relationship work is making LOVE a verb- making it something we do!
Ephesians 5:21 Paul said " Submit to one another out of reverence to Christ". Submit here is speaking of "mutual submission". If two people that love each other in a relationship can have "mutual submission" towards each other, then that is what Jesus considers love. Mutual submission was explained by Grant as making the other person the priority and then THAT person making THEM the priority... it then becomes a selfless love that examples itself after the way God loves us- WE are HIS priority... He is always going to do the right thing by us, for us, because we are His and He LOVES us... unconditionally.
Are you willing to learn to BECOME the right person for your spouse? Are you actively loving your mate?
Raise your tolerance of pain and submit mutually to your loved one.
FatherGod, only You know what is in our hearts. Only You know what is going on with each person reading this right now, and what relationship problems they could be facing... I pray that You would touch each heart with these words and shine Your light on a path to give them the peace they are searching for.. We know that lessons learned help us to grow. Teach us Lord how to Love as YOU actively Love us, daily and without fail. And I thank you for these things that you taught me today. May it root in my heart so I do not forget it.
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